Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
