What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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