I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
