You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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