I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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