let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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