Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
