Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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