I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
