so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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