She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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