ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
