stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
