Can Purell be used as lube?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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