I cockslap morals
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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