I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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