they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
