My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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