Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
