We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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