I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
3pm strippers are depressing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize