Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
