apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
