Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
