is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
