see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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