whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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