My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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