Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
