Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he fucked my hip out of place.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
