Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
