Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize