first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
