you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
