is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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