I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
