he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize