I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
