i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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