That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
