if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
