Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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