then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
