You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
