just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
