My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
