Me too!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
