just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
