yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
dude. I can hear the air.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
