I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently you make a good broom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
