just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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