wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
