So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
