Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
