i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
