we made out on top of his cat.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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