Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Randomize
