the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Two words: blizzard sex
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
