But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
