I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
