im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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