Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
worst night to have a conscience
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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